Finding A Girlfriend/Boyfriend

Finding a special someone can be tricky. Here's some advice about where to start, getting out there and not panicking if it doesn't happen straight away...

The agony of choice

With all those millions of fit, eligible fish in the sea, you'd think it would be easy to find a suitable boyfriend or girlfriend. But sometimes it's the hardest thing in the world.

One by one, all those fish get ticked off the list. Either they're not the right one for you, or worse still they're perfect - but aren't interested.

So how do you go about finding that special someone?

Trial and error

You can't expect to get it right first time, so going on dates is a good way to test people out. Most of us go through our share of dull hotties, exciting weirdos, nasty charmers and kind ogres in the quest for true romance. Either that or it's a long barren spell. Experimenting is good, even if only to make us realise what we don't want.

Get out there

You need a bit of luck to find someone good, but you can make your own luck. That simply means putting yourself in situations where you meet new people. It could be a party, an after-school club, a new hobby, the gym, a charity event, a speed-dating event or even a website. You don't have to hold up a sign saying 'I'm single'. Just be approachable and friendly and who knows what might happen. You could work on your chatting-up skills too.

Don't panic

If it never seems to happen, remember there's no rush, especially when you're young and fancy-free. Some people have a new snogging partner every week, but you have to ask yourself whether you want a fling or something more meaningful. If it's the latter, you might have to be patient before you hook up with your prize catch.

Age of consent

Age of consent is the age that you're allowed to have sex. So if you're thinking about doing it, you'd better check out the laws and guidelines here first...

What is it?

The age at which you can legally have sex.

What are the rules?

• In England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales we have to be 16 or older to have homosexual (gay) or heterosexual (straight) sex.
• 'Sex' means penetrative sex, oral sex or masturbating together.

What happens if you have underage sex?

The law sees it as sexual assault - it's a criminal offence. This is because in the eyes of the law we are unable to give informed consent to sex when still a child.

• A boy who has sex with a girl under 16 (17 in NI) is breaking the law. Even if she agrees.
• If she is 13-15, the boy could go to prison for two years.
• If she is under 13 he could be sentenced to life imprisonment.
• A girl age 16 or over who has sex with a boy under 16 can be prosecuted for indecent assault.

The law isn't there to make life difficult. It's there to protect us. Everyone is ready for sex at different ages. But the law has to generalise. To protect those who are most vulnerable, from exploitation.

There is no law against asking questions. Or finding out about sex. What it means, how to do it, how to protect ourselves from the consequences: pregnancy, STIs. And broken heart.

So, once you're 16 it's OK to have sex?

It's legal, except with someone who's in a 'position of trust' over us. This includes teachers, carers and doctors, who we trust to look after us. It's illegal for them to have sex with under-18s in their care.

Just because we've blown out 16 candles on our birthday cake, doesn't mean we're ready for sex. Do what feels right for you. Just make sure you understand what sex is about and get clued-up on safe sex and contraception before you do anything.
 

Warning over 'untrustworthy' sex health websites

Many young people worried about sexual health problems shun traditional health services for potentially untrustworthy websites, a poll suggests.

The Information Standard - a government-backed scheme to improve the reliability of health information - surveyed 1,200 18-24-year-olds.

The research showed eight in 10 relied on the internet for help without being aware of the authenticity of the sites.

Experts said it was essential the young sought help from official channels.

Nearly two-thirds of participants reported never having had a sexual health screening.

Their reluctance to use official NHS services was blamed on embarrassment and a lack of awareness about the seriousness of conditions.

Informed advice

Where young people do rely on the internet, the Information Standard said it was important to use reliable sites, such as those produced by the NHS, local authorities or leading charities.

Official and authenticated sites carry the Information Standard brand. Ann Robinson, director of public awareness at the Information Standard, said: "We want all young people to understand how to spot a trustworthy site.

 "Just because it ranks high in the search engine, for example, does not mean that it will provide informed advice."

 Dominic Edwardes, of the Terrence Higgins Trust charity, said: "Sexually transmitted infection rates are worryingly high amongst young people, accounting for more than half of all new diagnoses in England in 2010.

"To reduce these figures we need to make sure that young people are equipped with trustworthy advice and understand how to have safe protected sex."

Good Girlfriend Behavior: Do This, Not That

Hanging with the GuysNot That: Cheer really loudly, chug beers, or tell off-color jokes.Let's put it this way: It's really hard for him to be sexually attracted to someone who reminds him of his buddies.

Giving Him GiftsDo This: Buy him tickets.Present him with two tickets to see his favorite team or band and you'll win major points for being thoughtful and creative.

Giving Him GiftsNot That: Get him a sweater.He gets plenty of clothes from his mom. And you don't want him to associate you with her, do you? Didn't think so.

Leaving Stuff at His PlaceDo This: "Forget" your necklace.Leave behind a pretty, delicate piece of jewelry (such as a little gold necklace) and he'll think of you in similar terms every time he sees it.

Leaving Stuff at His PlaceNot That: Leave a toothbrush in his bathroom.An unsolicited toothbrush or other toiletry will give him the impression you're moving too fast — and may freak him out.

Sending Him TextsDo This: Type "Last night was amazing. Repeat 2night?"Keeping your message short and provocative will ensure he stays totally intrigued.

Sending Him TextsNot That: Send a message that's more than two sentences.To him, texting is for quick communication. Sending him a novel is analogous to a droning phone call. Read more: How To Be a Good Girlfriend - Tips On How To Be a Better Girlfriend - Cosmopolitan