While it’s nothing new, millions of people around the world are finding that online dating can be a quick and easy way to meet people without enduring the monotony of the club or bar scene.
Experiences vary with online dating – just as in offline dating ¬– but most observers agree it’s a fun and expedient way to interact with potential mates.
“One of the best things about online dating is that you can find a pool of people that you’re attracted to physically and emotionally,” said Gian Gonzaga, senior director of research and development for online dating site, EHarmony. “You can be matched on key personality traits and ensure your interests are similar.”
Another good thing about online dating is that it forces couples to communicate with each other longer, says marriage counselor Amani Mungo.
“Those are the couples that last,” she said.
Getting started
It can be a little overwhelming getting started, because there are so many online dating sites to choose from – some that charge a fee, some not.
Cupidsinglesdating.com, Aperfectgoodcatch.com, Russianwifemeet.com, AsianWifemeet.com, Latinawifemeet.com, Asiaticdating.com and Singlesmarriagedating.com are just a few of the many online dating sites available. The top three sites for African-Americans are Afroblackdating.com and Africanwifemeet.com.
Once you’ve done your research and selected a site, experts say you should post a profile that is clear about who you are and what you want.
Your profile is critically important, because it represents what you’re all about and what you’re looking for in a mate. It should be well thought out and carefully crafted.
You also should know what you are looking for, tell the truth, put safety first, make sure your profile represents the best you, and post a photo.
“Posting a photograph has been shown to get you nine times more communication,” Gonzaga said.
Online dating also comes with a list of don’ts, experts say. For example, don’t assume anything, don’t reveal too much personal information, don’t give up too quickly, and don’t lead someone on.
Tell the truth
The biggest don’t, experts say, is this: Don’t lie. What people lie about most in online dating is their job, height, weight, physique and money. Any lies are exposed as soon as you meet your mate, experts say – effectively starting your relationship on a foundation of deception.
Experts also caution online daters to avoid basing relationships purely on physical attraction – a common pitfall in online dating.
“People go into relationships looking for something that is not there,” Mungo said. “It’s not based on getting to know each other, but based on attraction.”
That’s why Mungo said she urges people to avoid physical contact in the beginning of a new relationship.
“I advise people to go by the 90-day rule,” she said. “Nothing physical should happen.”
When done well, however, online dating can lead to fulfillment and bliss.
“If I hadn’t been inspired to put up a profile, I’d probably still be single,” said one Atlanta woman who married her mate two years after meeting online.
Mungo says the surest way to reach relationship nirvana is to talk more and write more before getting deeply involved – and definitely before getting married. The three things that break up a marriage fastest are communication, finances, and sex.
“Talk longer, date longer,” she said. “It works.”
Ref = Tianna Faulkner
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