Meeting Off-Line: How to Tell the Time is Right

Sure, the thrill of making a connection with someone online is exciting at first. He's attractive, has a good job as a lawyer and whaddya know? He's got a ferret, too. His is a Siamese, and yours is a Sable. But still, what are the chances? His email turns out to be witty and sincere:

ShrooBaby,
Hi. I'm new here, but I saw your picture and profile and thought we had a lot in common. Hey, what's your Sable Ferret's name? Mine's Roxanne. Write me back when you get a chance,
Max (Headroom87)

Before you respond, you call in the cavalry—forwarding his profile to your four closest gal pals. Most have wonderful things to say like, "adorable," "great catch" and "love that picture of him on the beach." Bitter Vanessa says his ears are too big, but she's probably just jealous he didn't contact her.

With the votes counted, you write him back, eagerly telling him about your ferret, Beck, which stirs up a week's worth of back-and-forth emails. You learn that he likes peanut butter but doesn't like peanuts. He learns that you have a secret obsession with professional bowling.

Time to meet in person?
Will a face-to-face ruin the whole fantasy of your online match? Watch for these four signs you're ready to take it off-line:

1. Sparks are flying
Come on, even through innocent email flirting, you can tell if you guys are as a hot as Tungsten or as cold as, well, some other element in the periodic table. And if it's sizzling online, just think what could happen without a computer between you.

2. Building anticipation
Are you giddy every time you get an instant message? Are you disappointed if it's just your friend Sally in the cube next to you? You know you've gotta see this guy in person, even if it's just to satisfy your curiosity.

3. Marathon phone calls
Maybe the two of you have already made the leap from cyberspace to cellphone. You enjoy talking to him so much that you're not even agitated when he calls before 9:00 p.m., when all your minutes are free. You could spend the next week having long conversations reminiscent of your junior high days or you could play like a grown-up and go out on a real date.

4. Dropping names
Has he asked you questions like, "Hey, have you tried Vito's, that new Italian restaurant downtown?" and then not followed up with an official invite? He's probably just testing the waters, and he's obviously a little shy. Give him some help next time and reply with, "No, I haven't, but we should go sometime."

If the signs are there and you decide to meet him off-line, plan your initial meeting in a public place. You could choose one of the restaurants he's been name-dropping, or maybe even the pet store to browse for ferrets. Meeting someone online is a great way to screen prospective dates, but eventually you've got to move it off-line. And trust me, your cutie will be a lot cuddlier than that keyboard of yours.
REFERENCE:
Meeting Offline: How to Tell the Time is Right

Love, Explained

Have you ever wondered how much of love is about the heart… and how much is about hormones? Whether love at first sight really exists… or is just something Hollywood conjured up? And what about chemistry—can you create it, or does it just happen? Most of us have pondered such issues, and we decided to get some answers. That’s why we sat down with noted anthropologist, Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, who is also the author of such books as Why We Love. Her noteworthy career has been dedicated to understanding love—how and why it functions for us humans—and she sat down with us to share her fascinating insights.
Q: In a nutshell, why do we fall in love?Dr. Fisher: I’ve come to think that romantic love is one of three basic brain systems that evolved for reproduction. Each evolved for a reason: The sex drive evolved to get you out there looking for partners.Romantic love evolved to enable you to focus your energy on just one person at a time, conserving time and energy. And attachment, the feeling of security you can feel with a long-term partner, evolved to help you stay together long enough to raise kids.
Q: Why does being in love feel so good?Dr. Fisher: Because some of the most powerful brain circuits for pleasure are triggered. The main chemical involved is dopamine, which produces feelings of euphoria, energy, sleeplessness, and focused attention on your beloved. Biologically speaking, you’re experiencing something similar to a cocaine high.
Q: Is there such a thing as love at first sight?Dr. Fisher: Yes. It probably happens to men more than women because men are more visual, but I think we can all remember times when we felt an instant attraction to someone we barely knew. It has a practical purpose: In the animal kingdom you can’t spend three months discussing your résumé; you need to feel instant sparks to start the breeding process.
Q: Is falling in love all about timing?Dr. Fisher: Timing is important. The perfect partner can sit right next to you at a party, and you might not notice him or her if you’re too busy at work, enmeshed in another relationship, or otherwise preoccupied. But if you’ve just moved to a new city, recovered from an unsatisfying love affair, begun to make enough money to raise a family, are suffering through a difficult experience, or have a good deal of spare time, you are ripe to fall in love.
Q: Is there anything we can do to make someone fall for us (or make ourselves fall for someone)?Dr. Fisher: Do new things together. Novelty and excitement all drive up the activity of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain. These neurotransmitters are associated with energy, elation, focused attention and motivation—central traits of romantic love. So as you do novel things, these chemicals hop into action and may just push you over the threshold to fall in love.
Q: Is there anything you can do to make yourself stop loving someone?Dr. Fisher: Some people, especially women, tend to talk about a failed relationship so much that they re-traumatize themselves. Instead, get rid of your ex’s cards and letters. Don’t call or write. Get some sunshine and exercise, because both can change brain chemistry.
Q: What’s the difference between love and lust?Dr. Fisher: Lust generally dissipates after having sex and returns hours or days later. You can feel it for several people at the same time and not necessarily feel jealous. But when you’re in love, you are very possessive. And romantic feelings don’t dissipate after having sex; in fact, they can intensify.
Q: Does having sex make people fall in love?Dr. Fisher: Having sex can trigger love—probably because after orgasm, there’s a peak in dopamine activity. So watch out if you casually bed down with someone—you might unintentionally fall for them.
Q: Do feelings of love die over time, and is there any way to bring them back?Dr. Fisher: The first intense period of love can last one to three years. After that, these feelings subside. But if two people are compatible, there are many ways to renew a flagging partnership. Novelty can spur romance; sex can trigger it, too. Do some of the things that you used to when you were first dating.

Q: How important a role does chemistry play in love?Dr. Fisher: I believe that when the chemistry of one personality meshes well with the chemistry of another, it will continually combust throughout the relationship—keeping both partners together and happy during dry spells when feelings of romance are low.
Q: How do men and women experience love differently?Dr. Fisher: Men fall in love faster than women do. Women take longer because they have to create a “memory trail” of their mate’s behaviors. She has to remember what he promised, what he’s done for the partnership, and what he failed to do.
Q: What do men look for in a mate?Dr. Fisher: Men are more likely to choose women who display signs of youth and beauty—the first time that they marry, men around the world tend to marry women who are three years younger than themselves. Men are also attracted to women who “need” them. Men want to be helpful.
Q: What do women look for in a mate?Dr. Fisher: Women are attracted to partners with money, status, and ambition—one study found that American women seek partners who offered financial security twice as frequently as men do. If men look for “sex objects,” then women look for “success objects.”
Q: Can someone truly love more than one person?Dr. Fisher: No. I think you can feel lust for more than one person, and feelings of attachment for more than one person. But not love. As the Indian aphorism goes, “The lane of love is narrow; there is room for only one.”

Q: What’s the biggest mistake people make when it comes to love?Dr. Fisher: Some people fall in love before they really know their partner and marry in this state of romantic rapture. They should probably wait until that intense early phase wears off so they can see the flaws in the relationship before they dive in for good.
Q: Having reviewed so much scientific data on love,what would be the most important thing we’ve learned? Dr. Fisher: To me, the most important thing that scientists have learned is that romantic love was not invented by the troubadours in 11th century France. We have now found love poetry from the ancient Sumerians written some 4,000 years ago, as well as evidence of romantic love in over 150 societies. It’s given me a deep sense of connection to people everywhere: We’re all alike in some basic and beautiful ways.

REFERENCE:
Love, Explained

Secrets of Great Conversation

Making successful small talk with someone you've just met isn't rocket science, but it does demand more effort than tossing out a tired opening line. The added pressure of a social situation — a date, a party, an encounter at a singles club — may tie your tongue into knots. The best thing is to ignore what's going on around you and concentrate on the person at hand. If you show that you are interested, you'll be surprised how quickly people open up.

To get the ball rolling, here are five practical principles for starting a conversation when you don't know what to say.

1. Flattery will get you everywhere.Make with the compliments to begin on a positive note. People are inclined to think well of you if you indicate you think well of them. The trick is picking out what to compliment without including some kind of sexual connotation.
2. Props. Women work hard choosing their accessories, and anyone who notices wins points. "Those shoes are sensational. Are they comfortable?"Check out a guy's tie, glasses and watch. Look at his feet. I have a mild-mannered cousin who indulges himself by choosing socks with wild patterns. Always carry a book or newspaper. Then, if your new acquaintance doesn't have anything obvious to remark on, you have, "Have you read this?"
3. Redirection. People love to share their enthusiasm for their hobbies. If you meet someone jogging, see if you can spark some shoptalk. And vice versa. If you're at work, ask them what they like to do to relax. Try to discover what is not obvious—the mind in the sexy blonde, the animal in the geek.
4. Ask more than yes/no questions. A question demands a response, which is the essence of conversational give-and-take. But a yes/no query can bog you down in monosyllables. Think like a reporter: Ask who, what, when, where and why. Instead of, "Did you see the latest Bruce Willis movie?" try, "What did you think of it?"
5. Listen, really listen, to the other person. Shy people who have trouble making conversation are so anxious about what they are going to say next that they don't listen to what the other person says. Every answer to your intriguing questions opens up new conversational avenues to explore. Follow up on those leads. As an added bonus, the more you concentrate on the other person, the less your palms will sweat, the fewer words for you to stumble over. And your new acquaintance is bound to be charmed by your astute appreciation of his or her own sterling qualities.
REFERENCE: Secrets of Great Conversation

The Secret Lives of Happy Couples

We all know a couple like this: After years together they still hold hands, make each other laugh and blush, get along famously, and seem to enjoy a dynamite groove the rest of us envy. But what really goes on behind the scenes? Have these two soulmates actually found their perfect match in this big wide world, or are there secrets and strategies to making sure that romantic spirit continues to flourish over time?

In order to maintain the magic and sustain the spark, happy couples know they must:

Start solid. Remember that best friend you had when you were a kid? Whether blissfully playing side-by-side in the sandbox or building an awesome fort together, you two just grooved on being in each other's presence. Happy couples share that same serendipitous groove, if in the all-grown-up world. Romantic chemistry aside, they genuinely like each other as people and truly enjoy walking down the path of life hand-in-hand.

Keep it fresh. Routines and traditions can give a couple a comforting sense of predictability that's both grounding and reassuring. But surprises and adventures are also essential to really keeping that spark alive. Happy couples make a habit of shaking things up a bit by planning weekend getaways to undiscovered destinations, saving their pennies for a dream vacation, or launching fun and ambitious projects together. Having exciting things on the calendar to look forward to and sharing new adventures together reaffirms their connectedness and refuels the romance.

Clear the air. It's perfectly natural for any couple to encounter frustrations, disappointments, and miscommunications from time to time. But if grievances go unaired, they can pile up to a mountain of resentment and put the relationship at risk. Happy couples make sure they keep the communication open, and navigate those inevitable rough spots with honesty and mutual respect. If any issues should arise that seem too big or too complex to resolve between the two of them, they'll schedule some sessions with a couples therapist to help them safely weather the storm.

Have a life. A healthy relationship consists of two individuals who each maintain a strong sense of themselves and take a genuine interest in the other. One may decide to go back to school to pursue a higher degree, while the other may get involved in a volunteer project or a photography workshop. Maintaining individual identities and pursuing individual interests ensures that there'll always be new things to share and to learn about each other.

Tune it up. Whether it be once a month or once a year, a regularly scheduled sit-down can allow for some essential upkeep and maintenance of a healthy relationship. Happy couples may agree to a periodic summit meeting to check in with one another about the overall well-being of their partnership. They may discuss what they've been appreciating about one another, what dynamics could use some tweaking, and what is on the horizon for their future as a couple. A little preventative TLC from time to time helps keep those relationship engines running smoothly.

REFERENCE:
The Secret Lives of Happy Couples

Crucial Characteristics of Lasting Love

First comes that split second of physical attraction. Next that thrilling feeling of chemistry. But when the veil of romance starts to lift, what's life really like off the dance floor?

Too often, love is blind.
When Jenny and Michael met, they were instantly attracted to each other. Those electrifying sparks started flying. In an exciting whirlwind of parties and romantic dates, they swept each other off their feet. They decided to get married and live happily ever after. Years later the hormones had calmed down (and so had the fireworks). When the smoke cleared, the mismatches started to emerge. Her passion to shop and his questionable money decisions created constant financial stress. He liked to hang with the guys at the bar. She loved to go to the theater with friends. They disagreed on children and family values, especially religion. Communication broke down. Eventually, they grew apart.

Sound familiar? A physical and chemical match is essential at the start, but the excitement of a budding new romance eventually wears off. Making thoughtful dating decisions can mean the difference between revolving relationships and finding lasting love.

Dating experts outline seven match areas to consider:

Physical appearance
While physical appearance and attraction draw two people together at first, these aspects will affect the rest of their lives. If working out and staying fit is important to you, will it bum you out if your mate doesn't share your quest for rock hard abs?

Emotional maturity
Is this person emotionally mature and centered or are they still lugging around some trunk-sized baggage? How does your sweetheart relate to family and friends? Is he or she emotionally supportive or have control issues? Is your mate aware of his or her own issues and interested in addressing them?

Lifestyle choices
This includes career and social lives, common interests, leisure time activities and energy levels. Would she rather join the bowling league or the metropolitan symphony? Does he have lots of energy for activities with friends while she'd rather rest and chill out at home?

Financial style
This is a hot bed for most couples. It includes income levels, financial goals and views on handling money. How do you each want to spend, save and invest? Is one person a spender while the other saves? Is one person financially responsible while the other plays catch-up with child support and bills?

Value structure
This match area is often overlooked but has a tremendous impact on your life. It includes the big values: Honesty, integrity, loyalty, views on family and children, religion and spirituality, life goals and the treatment and care for others. Does your mate follow through on her word? Would you say he's trustworthy? Will she always be there for you in a pinch?

Marriage and sex
Everyone does not share the same idea of marriage. The big questions to address are: What do you and your mate expect from marriage and sex? Is he or she looking for a soul mate? Do you both want close intimacy in friendship, communication and sex?

Intelligence
Having similar education levels increases your chances of sharing matching school and social experiences, intellectual interests and career goals. What topics do you and your honey like to talk about? Conversation limited to sports or shopping may get boring to someone who likes to ponder philosophy and bluster about business.
While you don't have to match exactly in each area, look at the big picture and make sure you match closely enough in the important areas of your life.

REFERENCE:
Crucial Characteristics of Lasting Love

Creative Christmas Love Notes

The Happy Home Fairy has done it again...

You may remember her cute lil' Thanksgiving love notes. These ones are for Christmas.

She instructs you to "hide these cards in his laptop case, the visor in his car, under his pillow at night, taped under the lid of the toilet seat, or one in his stocking each day… be creative and have a Merry Christmas with that man of your dreams!"

Download the cards on her blog HERE.

Word Warped Anniversary Gift

Each year, hubby and I rotate who plans the anniversary date or event. This year, he had event-duty which left me with getting him a gift (nothing too elaborate, of course). I decided rather than wrap his gift, I'd make him work for it.

There is an app on our iPhones called Word Warp that we've both been into lately, so I warped the letters of his gift and watched as his mind went to work!

This is what he was trying to solve:
(the letters given spell out lots of different 3+ letter words...the biggest word they spell is "motocross"...which is the word I wanted him to get at.)

Once he solved it, his anniversary gift was revealed: Tickets to a Freestyle Motocross Show!

So, here's the lesson application to you:

....you've gotta put a little excitement ahead of a gift like this. Although it's something he may REALLY want (he's been asking for 5 years to go to a motocross show with me), it's pretty boring to just hand over some tickets or something of the sort. You don't have to do word-warp, of course, but get creative in doing something personal to both of you. Make a mini-event of it and it's sure to be more fun...for both of you!

I'd love to hear your ideas, of course, so send your tips and examples my way!

loveactuallyblog @ hotmail.com

Under the Mistletoe...

Don't forget about a cute little way to sneak an extra kiss or two this holiday season....hang some mistletoe in a conspicuous space and lure your hunny underneath it.

Design-Aholic dressed hers up just a tad so it doesn't look like you have a dead plant hanging from your ceiling. :)

Check out her post HERE.

Merry Kissmas to you and yours!

Merry Christmas, Deer!

Christmas is only getting closer...still wondering what to get hubby?

RomanticMarriages.com offers an all-inclusive “Merry Christmas Deer” romance kit.


This kit makes it so easy to have a little holiday fun and frolic with your husband. The kit begins with a “good boy” letter for your man that says… “The elves reported you’ve been a good boy by being my man through the year, so Santa decided you’d get what YOU want. Delivery will be by his deer!”

You then visit him on the nights leading up to Christmas as Santa’s sexy and slightly naughty deer. Each deer delivers her own gift that makes a very unique memory. (All gifts are included in the kit with the exception of a gift certificate to his favorite restaurant.) The kit is great at creating genuine anticipation as your man wonders which of Santa’s deer are visiting next? With the arrival of the first deer, “Flasher” (Dasher’s naughty twin) your holiday fun begins!

The girls at Romantic Marriages have done all the work for you... so you get to have all the fun!

You can order the kit over HERE!

Naughty or Nice Love Notes

I love stumbling upon lovey-dovey (or "lovey-sexy" might be more appropriate) treasures like this... thought I'd pass my discovery along!

..perfect for the holidays! I found this at Confessions of a Working Mom. Go there to download!

...just a little big favor!

so...you know how I asked you to nominate me for the Top 10 Marriage Blog List?

Well, no good deed goes unpunished...because NOW I'm asking you to VOTE because Love Actually is a finalist! :)

Just click on the link on that green button above or on the right sidebar to go VOTE! I'd like to say it's your civic duty as a follower of this blog, but since I didn't even register in my last local elections, I can't even pull that one! BUT, if you vote, you'd make this one little love blogger a happy girl! How's that? :)

Thanks soooo much!

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving! Hope you enjoy the holiday with your friends and/or family!

Thanksgiving Love Notes for the Happy Hubby

I love all you creative women who are "thinking outside the box" when it comes to loving your hubbies...

The Happy Home Fairy did just that...

...just look at those! How clever!

The inspiration behind her cute lil' love notes:

As Thanksgiving approaches, I wanted to make something to bless my hubby. He does so much to fill my life with happiness that I am always bursting with gratitude for him. The more I brainstormed about him, the more I realized that my love for him is kind of like my love for Thanksgiving Dinner...

You can head over to her blog HERE to download the notes!

You better hurry, though! You've only got 3 days from now until Thanksgiving to give these notes... maybe give 2-3 a day left in random places or even emailed to her might make him feel just a little more thankful for such a loving wife! (easily applied to a wife, for all you male readers, too.)

The 12 Lays of Christmas

Thank you all for nominating Love Actually as one the Top 10 Marriage Blogs. If you haven't yet, I hope you will!

Here's how:

1. Just copy my URL: http://loveactually-blog.blogspot.com

2. Go to THIS site and submit!

As promised, I have a fun new idea for you with a free download. And, it's just in time for Christmas. Now, for all you who don't like any mention of anything intimate (even within marriage), then you'll probably wanna mosey away from this blog right now.

With that said, I love this idea and find it so very clever! I don't think it's dirty in the least bit, rather an exciting Christmas present that any husband would die for!

A friend of mine came up with this and asked that I keep her anonymous. But I asked if I could share the inspiration behind her idea and she agreed to let me post her words:

"Around Christmas time it's easy to forget what it's all about, and I tend to get stressed out about the presents and money, and the never ending to-do list of shopping, cooking, wrapping, mailing, etc.
And my husband gets a crazy, frazzled wife to deal with through the holidays.

Well, the other day I was (already) stressing about what to get everyone for Christmas with a very low bank account, and I asked my husband what our budget was and what he wanted. He replied, "You KNOW what I want." I just laughed at him and said, "No really, what do you want?" He just looked at me and said, "Why can't I want that? I just want you." Anyway, we kept talking and he said he really just wanted to use the little money we had to get the kids some presents- and he didn't need anything- just me.

Afterward, I started thinking and realized- you know, I don't think he's just being nice- I think that's REALLY all he wants. Of course, I'm probably going to make him a couple of other small presents- but I'm excited to surprise him with the 12 Lays of Christmas. Because I know he's going to love it- and I know it's going to help me remember what it's all about. So this year I'm giving my husband a happy, stress-free wife- and a lot of lovin'. :) There's nothing better than giving yourself!!!"

Amen! Here's the idea:

The night before the 12 Lays of Christmas starts (Dec. 13^th) leave this note for your husband, explaining how it will work (basically that you two are going to be making love every night for 12 days straight leading up to Christmas):

Along with the note, you can also leave a pocket advent calendar to count down the 12 Lays of Christmas. It’s really easy- you just get a pack of Dentyne gum (or any brand that has 12 pieces of gum in a pack) On the back of each square of gum, use a sharpie to label the numbers 1-12. That way, they can eat a piece of gum each day of the 12 Lays of Christmas. (If you want, you can also replace the Dentyne label with your own decorative label) Attach this note to the gum…

And remember what I say,
It must be done every day.
Just so you won’t forget-
Grab this pack and your set.
You can’t chew your piece of gum,
Until the deed is really done.

Then, leave a small present (the idea for each present is in bold text at the end of the post) each day for your spouse to find along with the accompanying note, to remind them that “the deed must be done every day.”

Here are the notes I made to go along with each day's little gift.
{click to enlarge}

You can download the entire set of Notes & Gum Pack Label HERE!

For those of you who want to design your own, here is the text so you can adjust the wording but not retype the whole thing!

(Pear scented body scrub)

LAY 1: December 14

Tonight calls for a partridge in a pear tree,

But that’s just not romantic, you see.

So how about some pear body scrub in a tub

Then you and me can rub a dub dub!!

(Chocolate turtles or Dove chocolate)

LAY 2: December 15

Tonight calls for two turtle doves

But birds are still not cutting it, love

So instead, how about the chocolate kind

It’s an aphrodisiac- I don’t think you’ll mind

(Hershey’s kisses)

LAY 3: December 16

Tonight calls for three French hens

(Here we go with the darn birds again)

So I’m replacing them with French kisses instead

But I’ll give more, not three like they said

(A whistle)

LAY 4: December 17

Tonight calls for four calling birds

But a call from you would be much preferred

So use this whistle to give me a call

When you’re ready for a little bedroom brawl

(5 gold rings from the dollar store with a piece of lingerie rolled inside each one)

LAY 5: December 18

Tonight calls for five golden rings

But my golden rings come with sexy things

So pick the outfit that you like best

And I will go get ready and dressed

(Rolo candies)

LAY 6: December 19

Tonight calls for six geese a-laying

But it’s not the geese that will be laying and playing

So just ROLO-ver, okie dokie?

It’s time for the horizontal hokey pokey!

(Bubble Bath)

LAY 7: December 20

Tonight calls for seven swans a-swimming

But I’m thinking you & me- with the lights a-dimming

Here’s some bubble bath for our private swim party

Meet me by the tub at bedtime- don’t be tardy!

(Milk duds)

LAY 8: December 21

Tonight calls for eight milking maids

But I was hoping that you’d consider a trade

Instead, how about just milk duds & me?

I promise I’m worth it- just wait and you’ll see!

(CD of Romantic songs)

LAY 9: December 22

Tonight calls for nine ladies dancing

But you just need me for some dancing, romancing

So let’s put on some slow songs and waltz ‘round the bed

Tonight it won’t be sugarplums dancing in your head

(Red Hots and Mountain Dew)

LAY 10: December 23

Tonight calls for ten lords a leaping

But you’re the only man I care about keeping

I know what’ll get you leaping, (you gotta admit)

We’re red hot- so let’s just DEW it!

(Party Blowers)

LAY 11: December 24

Tonight calls for eleven pipers piping

But, I confess, I have done some swiping

I stole their pipes to give to you

Just blow one when you’re ready for some- yabbadabbadoo!

(Paper Ticket)

LAY 12: December 25

Tonight calls for twelve drummers drumming

But you are the man who’s got me succumbing

So take this ticket for a private concert, you see,

Instead of a drum, you can bang on me!

The day after Christmas, leave your husband this note:

The 12 Lays of Christmas is over already,

But we don’t need an excuse to get hot and heavy!

So just let me know, whenever the mood hits…

And we’ll find our way back to toe-curling bliss!

You give me a thrill that nothing can beat.

So let’s keep staying tangled up in the sheets.

Thanks for being so charming and cavalier

You were my very favorite present this year!

oh, I love it!
May all your "lays" be Merry and Bright!

Top 10 Marriage Blog List

Hey all! I've got a fun post coming your way soon....a fun, inexpensive, and CLEVER idea for Christmas.

But, before I post that, I wanted to encourage you all to Nominate & Vote for Love Actually for the Top 10 Marriage Blog List.

It's super easy.

1. Just copy my URL: http://loveactually-blog.blogspot.com
2. Go to THIS site and submit!

As your reward, I'll have a free download for you (for the above mentioned idea) by Thursday!

Love to you all!

"I only have EYES for you!"

Looking for a spooky way to show your hubby (or wife...) you love him this Halloween?

All the Pretty Pages created this cute little greeting card... You can download the card on her blog HERE

{You could attach this to a baggie of little eye ball chocolates or gummies}

Now Taking Orders...

I am now taking orders for customized "Date of the Month Club" kits!!

If you weren't a follower of Love Actually last Christmas, allow me to introduce you to a one-of-a-kind homemade Christmas gift for your spouse....a gift that lasts throughout the year!

Enroll him (or her) in the Date of the Month Club!

Here's the jist: You've enrolled them in this club, which has lots of great "membership benefits".

{the membership "brochure"}

You can present this to him anyway you'd like. In a binder with plastic sleeves, in a box, in a folder, or in a 12x12 scrapbook pocket page like I did.

{ A closer look }

What comes in the kit?

Monthly Date Calendar:
Give your hubby a list of 12+ dates on a card or a full size page (depending on how you are presenting it). The more he can choose from, the better. Keep in mind, these don't all have to be fancy dates from my blog. Guys like simple dates, too...like, throwing a frisbee at the park. Put some of his interests in there as dates with you. Then, provide him another sheet which has each month of the next year listed. He will choose which date he wants for which month. Then, it's up to you keep that card and plan those dates each month (Hence, "date of the month club").

Romance Reward Tickets:
These are "love coupons" of sorts...the trick is actually honoring them when he/she decides to use them throughout the year--no backing out! And, make sure you really personalize them.

Here are the tickets I used:
(I put two of each in the package)

• Breakfast in Bed - hot & ready, or however you like it!
• Mental Health Day - Need a break from the daily grind? Play hookie and we'll have some real fun...anything you want to do!
• Sick Day - Redeem this for some pure pampering on a day you aren't feeling too hot... I'll make you feel better.
• Treat Ticket - Your craving is my command!
• Massage of Your Choice - Where does it hurt? Let me rub it better.
  
  

  {Options for the tickets are endless, though...}

Vacation Packages for Two:
Give him at least 2 options…but only give him as many as you can handle having to plan throughout the year! (make sure he knows these are not REAL getaways...otherwise what’s the need for a homemade Christmas?)

My package included "a trip to Las Vegas" and one to a romantic bed and breakfast suite--he gets to choose the suite theme.

Hershey Hugs & Kisses:
Redeemable for the real thing....


Once it's all set, wrap it up and put it under the tree!


I am offering you the full set of digital elements for the Date of the Month Club...personalized with your choice of wording, your date choices, your colors, etc.

Here's what's included:

Membership Brochure - colors, border color, wording, name of recipient (optional)
Tickets - color of ticket and wording on tickets (5 customizable tickets included) $1 each additional (Note: You can print as many of each ticket that you want).
Vacation Packages - wording, related image, border color, (2 customizable packages included) $2 each additional
Calendar - 2 different files: date option list is fully customizable, background color, text color
Title - (text color, striped paper design not included)

All of these items will be saved as a JPEG file (available to you by email/download) so you can insert them into Word, Publisher, etc. and make them any size you want. Then, you can print right from your own computer.

for just $19.99
you will have a unique, personalized and memorable Christmas present!

How to Order:

Email loveactuallyblog @ hotmail.com NOW so I can get started and get your digital products to you in time for you to get this under the Christmas tree!

*If you'd like anything in addition to this package created digitally, let me know and I will quote you a price.


{Credit: For my "romance reward tickets", I used the Tiny Tickets design by Gunhild Storeide}

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Here are a couple of examples of customized styles I've created for purchasers last year:

I'll only be making a limited number of kits this year (I realized last year that it wore me down by taking all requests...) So, order early!

"Gwen In Love" Feature

Hello. Hello. Hello!

I must say I do miss posting...but I am sure enjoying having time for everything else in my life! But, I'm back just for a moment today to feature my newest sponsor,
Gwen in Love

Gwen professes to be in love and thinks everyone should have a marriage that is "as rockin' hot" as hers! She's here to help all of us after saying "I do". Her blog offers a lot of great advice for the more intimate aspects of marriage...

Here were a couple of posts from her blog that I fell in love with...


Gwen's Idea of Father's Day

A classy monogrammed tie clip that has a secret message on the back with "Love ties us together." or... "I want to tie you up". Clever!

Friday Night Dance Party

Gwen suggests a little private dance party for you and your man... She's got a playlist for you and everything!

Flirty Apron

After playing mom and maid all day, emotions can run high for Gwen. Her favorite way to change her mood is to "throw on a sassy little apron" It helps her to embrace her household duties and feel less like a maid and more like her husband's sexy girlfriend!

She's got some CUTE blog buttons you can snag as well...

And there's plenty more! After your visit, I think you'll find yourself in Love with Gwen in Love... Hop on over to her blog here...

Thanks for sponsoring Love Actually Blog, Gwen. Can't wait to see more from you!

Fall In Love

I found a cute Fall idea by Colette from My Computer Is My Canvas. She did this for her hubby.

She writes,
"He's the rough and tough, college football type... so cheesy stuff only makes him roll his eyes at me. Sad, but true. However, with the fun (and manly) colors of Fall - I thought I could get away with a little bit of mush. I wanted to remind him that even though I am a busy mom with a million priorities... I'm still "falling" in love with him everyday."

Then she wrote him a little love note and attached the extra tags to little goodies and put them "around his world" to remind him for the next few days.

You can grab her free download on her blog!

Another One Bites the Dust....(sorta)

Heeelllooooo everyone.....

It's been a while since I've been "back here" as Love Actually has been on auto-post for about 2 months. Yeah, it wasn't really me posting the past few times. *guilty* It was blogger.

Anyway, I've had to really weigh my priorities recently and while I whole-heartedly believe this blog is a worthwhile endeavor, there are just other things that must be put first.

I don't want to see this cute little blog "bite the dust" entirely, so the blog will remain here for you.... And for those moments when I'm inspired to share a fun idea, I will do so.

But first, I have a quick question:

Does anyone know what happened to my photo bucket images? My account is still active but the pictures are gone (which means my cute red polka-dot background is gone and my menu bar links, too....) Doesn't make for a pretty blog. boo! I'd love any advice you can offer me.

Life Report Card

Although we don't get graded for being a good husband or wife, it's nice to occasionally to receive praise for ordinary things. The next time you notice your spouse "making the grade" in the subjects of life (that you may often take for granted), let this report card do the talking.

Design a report card on your computer or hand design it on notebook paper, or you can use my freebie below. Think of life "subjects" that your spouse excels in. (Note: This is not the time to dish out failing grades for things they aren't good at.) Think positive.

Display the report card proudly on your refrigerator for your spouse to see. You can even leave a message next to it that says, "Great job! I'm so proud of you! Let me take you out tonight for getting such good grades!­­"­

You can download the blank version HERE.

Wanted: Your Spouse

Sometimes we all just need to feel wanted. Your spouse is no exception. Here's a way that will really demonstrate how much they are "wanted."

How do I get one of these posters, you ask? You make one! Even if you have to crumple up a brown paper bag, paste a picture on it, and use a permanent marker to create the “wanted’ poster look! (not a bad idea, huh?) Or you can just use your computer. Either way, you’re going to need a few posters—not just one.

Tape the posters up all around your home. Before your spouse even sees you for the first time that evening, make sure they've seen several posters. Make sure there is some kind of reward (whether explicitly stated or not).

"Capture My Heart" Date Night

On this date, you and your spouse will battle for each other's heart...literally! Think of it as a twist off the familiar outdoor activity, "Capture the Flag".

You’ll need:
2 nerf guns
2 heart shaped objects (or a medium sized heart-shaped paper for last minute planning)
Black clothing
Theme music (Mr. & Mrs. Smith soundtrack, possibly?) Optional.

First, agree on a reward for the winner be it a massage, a certain meal, a household chore, etc.

Then, get yourself into battle mode as you both split up to hide your heart-shaped objects. Sneak around the house so your spouse won't suspect where you've hidden it. Have a starting point for each of you on opposite sides of the house and yell when you're ready to play.

The goal is to find the heart-shaped object they've hidden before they find yours. If you get hit with the nerf gun, you’re down for 30 seconds. So, duck and cover and sneak around as much as possible.

May the best man or woman win!

Psychiatrist Date

Surely there are times when you wonder what in the world is going on in your spouse's head. Here's your chance to play psychiatrist and really find out just what is going on in there!

Here's how:

· As an invite to your date, call your spouse during the day to let him or her know that their psychiatrist just called and that they'd be making a house call tonight at 8:00 pm.

· When it's time for your date, have a sign on the door of the room which you'll use as your psychiatrist office. The sign could simply say, "Dr. (Your Name), Psychiatrist". Welcome them into your office with a warm greeting and invite them to sit or lay down (in a comfortable reclining chair, couch, etc.).

· Start with a warm up exercise including massaging their temples, face, neck and shoulders.

· After the warm-up, instruct your spouse: "For today's session, we'll be doing an exercise called "What If". This will allow me to understand you better and accurately identify any conditions affecting your mental health. Please answer all questions honestly." (Google "what if questions" for examples.) While your spouse sits or lays in a comfortable position, sit in a chair next to them with a notebook or clipboard in hand. Ask them a series of "What If" questions including questions you may actually want to know their response to as well as some funny questions. As they answer questions, randomly say to yourself (but out loud) things likes "interesting", "hmm...", "I see", etc.

· At the end of your session, let your patient know that they need a lot of help and that this prescribed medicine should help. (Recycle a used prescription bottle or even an old Advil or Tylenol container. Fill with skittles, m & m's, red hot candies, etc.) Your label could look something like this:

Lovin' Your Student Spouse 101: Repetition

Repetition is known to be a great way to learn. With that mind, let me remind you of these two posts previously seen on Love Actually:

Jumbo Smarties - This post includes 4 printable card downloads!

Scoring an "A" in Romance - a smorgasbord of ideas for student couples on a budget!

Lovin' Your Student Spouse 101: Essay for Love

Nobody likes it when midterms and those big paper deadlines roll around. To show your student spouse that you "share their pain" draft an essay for them along these lines:

"Why I Have the Best Husband in the World"

or

"Why My Wife is the Smartest Woman Alive"

... anything you want.

Print it out in essay style complete with page numbers, your student number, due date, title page and perhaps a "works cited" section where you can make up books or sources where you got the information for your essay...this is where humor could come handy).

Your title page could look like something like this:

The rest of the essay is up to you! If you run out of things to write about, don't be afraid to double space this essay!

Staple it and slip it in his/her backpack before they leave for class. This time it'll be you trying to make the grade....no worries. Your the teacher's pet..... A+ guaranteed!

Lovin' Your Student Spouse 101: Old School Lovin’

It's back to school time again, but this time, study buddies are mandatory for all classes...and you won't be sent to the principal's office for kissing in class!

The bell has rung. It's time for class. Make sure your classmate has their backpack on as you head into 1st period. Being the good study buddy you are, you've already stopped by the office to pick up their class schedule. As you compare your schedules, you'll realize that you're in the same classes together. What are the odds?

· Art: For the criminal sketches, one of you will pick a person that you both know and without revealing their name, describe physical features while the other person draws them. After the picture is complete, reveal the name of your "criminal". Then, switch roles. (Don't forget to display your drawings on the fridge!) If drawing isn't either of your strong suits, try your hands at modeling clay or play dough.

· Music : You could play Rock Band if you have it, practice a dance that you learned from You-Tube, play any musical instrument that you have at home, or even just listen to some favorite songs that you haven't heard in a while.

· Home Ec: This would be an excellent time to make your "lunch" together as an assignment or even do a household chore together that needs to get done.

· Lunch: If you didn't make lunch together in Home Ec, you could have lunch already packed in a lunch box complete with a sandwich, apple, and milk carton. How about a little treat and love note from home?

· Math: Learn about math in the real world by doing Sodoku puzzles which you can find free online. If you didn't have dessert packed in your lunch box, perhaps you could learn about pi (3.14) and pie charts while eating pie!

· Physics: A hands-on demonstration is one of the best ways to learn, especially when you're learning the laws of thermodynamics. Classmates will give and receive a massage to learn how heat is generated by friction.

· Phys Ed: This class has been scheduled last to prevent students from being sweaty in other classes.

After your final class, present your classmate with their report card rolled up like a diploma. Make the report card very simple. The grades (one in particular) are all that matter.

Class Dismissed.

Lovin' Your Student Spouse 101: Report Card Rewards

Be sure to take good notes on today's lesson... I think your studious spouse will love it!

This is something you want to plan at the start of a semester so they'll have something to work toward. OR, you could just present it right before one big test as motivation (or at least something to look forward to once the test is over).

Assign a reward to each letter grade. Whichever letter grade the student receives on the test or in a certain class, the corresponding reward is given. Here are some examples:

And if you'd like, click the image below, then save and print!

(note: this idea is usually only effective if your student has a history of making good grades. If they don't, this idea might just hurt their feelings...) :)

Lovin' Your Student Spouse 101: Graphing Your Love

Those of you in school know how challenging it can be to balance the books and love your spouse simultaneously. So, I've gone ahead and enrolled all of you in:

Lovin' your Student Spouse 101:
....a week long course right here on Love Actually that will feature some great ideas (plus free downloads) to help you ace this busy time in your life!

Classroom Rules:

1. Attendance each and every day is mandatory. Tardiness, however, is acceptable.
2. Participation Encouraged (i.e. if you have a great idea to share, please leave a comment so all the students can benefit from your knowledge.)
3. Application of study material (ideas) recommended.

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Today's lesson is about graphing.

I found this from the Cottage Industrialist and thought that it was the most clever love note ever! Perfect to slip in your favorite student's book to be found during class.

You can download this graph card and matching envelope for FREE on their blog. I know, very cool. and very nice. Be sure to say thanks when you download!